My heart hurts.

Wow. What a fabulous, horrible book.

Here is a quick summary of Lakshmi's ending (WARNING: Spoiler):
Lakshmi has become a desensitized monster. She is the second most experienced girl there, as many of the other women have left, unable to work because of their diseases. She goes to work, roping in as many man as she can, willing to do anything to pay off her debt and leave the "Happiness House." Soon she discovers that not a single rupee has actually gone to her family. Everything she has done was for nothing. A strange American man comes to her room, but instead of sleeping with her he tells her of a clean place he can take her where the girls are happy. Lakshmi does not believe him, but when a second American comes later with photos of a clean, safe place, she decides to risk it. The Americans come back with the police to raid the Happiness House. Lakshmi, desperate for hope, leaves her friends and follows the Americans. Mumtaz (the horrible leader of the Happiness House) is arrested, and we assume that Lakshmi begins a new life.

One of Lakshmi's biggest struggles was deciding what reality to believe. She had been lied to in coming to the Happiness House; she had been lied to about how much she owed and where her money was going; She had been beaten, raped, drugged, diseased; She had trained herself to block out pain and she could not hope. How could she trust this American man? What if it was all another lie? My heart aches for Lakshmi as she battles between the certainty of the Happiness House and the hope of the American man. It takes the absolute desperation and the realization that she will never leave the Happiness House before she is willing to risk anything to get out.

It is fascinating and sickening to see Lakshmi's perspective and the way she has been so deceived. Right from the beginning of the book, I knew that Lakshmi's new job as a "maid" was actually a job as a prostitute. I knew she was ignorant to think she could ever earn her way out. I knew the women would get diseases from the men. But everything is new, and much more real to Lakshmi. I understand more now her motivation for boldly approaching the men and being willing to sleep with any one of them. I understand some of her fear at leaving with the American man and her helplessness in such a situation.

I think "Sold" has brought enlightenment to my naive mind in regards to the horrors that many people experience. Though of course I have heard statistics and stories of women in similar situations, "Sold" puts everything in perspective, through the eyes of a 13-year-old girl. I realize that I don't actually get it. I can never understand really how terrible it is. Girls are suffering in ways that are beyond my imagination. My heart hurts tonight.